Childish games: First Date #2

"You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation" -Plato

J and I had a Game Night but all the games we played were from our child hood. J picked the first game and it was the card game WAR. At the time I didn't ever remember playing as a kid but now 24 hours later I do remember playing with my brother on the floor in either one of our rooms. For those of you who don't know what WAR is take a quick moment and google it. The game took about 20 or so minutes to play through because it was just the two of us. J is a sore loser and since I won I picked the next game. Sticking with the card game theme I chose poker. You might be thinking is that really a kids game? It was for me. I learned how to play poker when I was 11 yrs old with my grandfather and we always played with money. Mind you we used penny's, nickel's, dimes, and quarters. On the rare but high stake stance dollar bills. The dollar bills only occurred after my grandfather had a few drinks in him and he was losing to us kids. My brother is about 3 yrs younger then me and I'm sure it hurt my grandfathers pride to be losing to a couple of kids. My bro and I would clean him out on a regular basis. I think we would come home with $100 dollars combined from our winnings in just poker.

J brags on a regular basis about how good he is in poker and Texas hold'em. Especially for days after a successful tournament at a co-workers house where he was in the top 3 and came home with $$$. Needless to say J was all for the game switch since his choice didn't go in his favor. We started with a few hands of 5 card draw but after I had WON every single hand we switched to Texas hold'em. J said "Now this is my game" and I let him deal the first hand. Guess what?!!?!?!?!? I WON AGAIN! I don't normally brag this much but I was pretty proud of myself.  At the end of our date this is how the score looked.

WAR:

J: 0             ME:1

Poker 5 card draw:

J:0              ME:4

Texas Hold'em:

J:1              ME:6

J said that I need to play in Vegas. I just laughed at him because I'm to cautious for that. We weren't playing for money and didn't talk about the kids during this date. We talked about our childhood and only positive memories. All in all not a bad "First Date"

This Date Cost:

$00000

Just our time

Feeling a little worried

Today is July 9th and I have only completed ONE DATE!! This is stressing me out a little. 50 dates in 90 days is an immense commitment and I'm worried that I might not make it! The summer months are especially busy for my family. J is leaving on a trip this week and that will make having dates difficult BUT not impossible. I have thought of some creative ideas on how to combat him being away. I think a Skype date might work? Or Even a phone call? I will have to talk to Erin about her thoughts on this. People do the whole online dating thing and some considering themselves dating before the even meet at times. Right? This will work! I want to keep the objective in mind and have that as my focus.

So, I resolve that tonight is Date Night! Can't wait to find out what we're doing.

First Date Down only 49 more to go!

J and I had our "first" date last night! Its a start to a fun 49 more dates to go. Though I will be honest and say I went with a rather unoriginal First Date idea. Movie Night. We rented 21 Jump Street and had ice cream together. Just like in our dating days. Ahhh, the fond memories. We had a great time together especially laughing. I would have to say that it was a great first date. I had so much fun with J and I enjoyed the movie.

Prep: Like any good hostess I cleaned the kitchen, the bathroom, and picked up all the toys in the living room. I usually keep my house clean for the most part except for the occasional "messy day". What can I say? I'm a little OCD about the house. Its even of higher importance when company comes over and since this was the FIRST "first date" of the project. I wanted to get off on a good foot.

I did wear make-up and do my hair! Wooohooo! With three kids in the house and two of them under the age of 3 this was a feat all of its own. I will tell you that with all the other prep I cheated on my outfit and went on the casual side.

COST: Movie Rented from ZUNE about $3.20
            Vanilla Bean ice-cream $3.39
            Total cost: $6.59
Looking forward to many more successful "first dates".

*This Date happened on July 5th*

Excited about this 50 First Dates Project

Romance Webster defines it is as a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. Since I was a young girl I have been obsessed with the idea of romance and a "knight and shinning armor". I would day dream about the perfect guy for more hours then I would truly like to admit and all the ways he would fall head over heels in love with me. Fast forward time to my early twenties and I quickly learned that guys don't act like the guys in "chick flicks". It was an utter disorientation for me because I didn't have a whole lot else to go on. Ok, I was very naive growing up and had absolutely NO dating experience until I graduated from high school. Before you start thinking I'm some kind of ugly girl. I want to take a moment to explain it to you in simple terms. I wasn't allowed to date. Yes, you read that correctly. I wasn't allowed to date. If my parents could have put a chastity belt on me I think they would have. I was never really boy crazy or even had that many guys swoon over me.It made it that much harder to try and understand where my parents were coming from. Even now with kids of my own it seems ridiculous.


The day I graduated from High School I entered the dating world. To be more specific I had my very First Boyfriend and guess what?!!? I asked him out. Which isn't the romantic comedy role I had originally scripted for myself. I always pictured the "guy" sweeping me off my feet in some romantic gesture. My idea of romance was not set in reality and I learned that quickly. The First Boyfriend only lasted until I went to college unfortunately but I was seeking romance and love. The First Boyfriend was in short supply on both of those fronts. After dating tall guys, short guys, ugly guys, weird guys, firefighters, trash talkers, and wimps. I finally found the guy who ended up playing my leading man. I meet my now husband J at a friend birthday party. We shared a heated glance at one another that ran through my whole body. Unlike the First Boyfriend J made the first move on me and asked me out. After our first date; J and I date for only 6 months before we were engaged and 3 months after that we were pronounced husband and wife. Our honeymoon phase didn't last long.


Our marriage has gone through many obstacles and I'm glad to tell you we have become stronger together despite our adversity. One of the biggest hit areas has been romance and deep intimacy even though I will be approaching my thirties soon. I'm still that teenage girl inside desiring all the sappy romantic gestures that would make most people gag. I'm hoping with this project that I create this romance in my marriage. Who said it had to be the guys role? 

Freaking out

First date is tomorrow, you guys. Holy shit.

(Then again, I guess it's actually today..... D: )

Getting the show on the road

Well, the blog is built. So there.

One thing I don't (and probably won't) say on "About Us" page is how I can't handle the idea that people might see the ugly parts of my life. And unfortunately, my marriage is one of the ugliest.

I think it's important for me to get down in writing in the very first post that I will be totally honest. Not just about the specifics of the project, but about how my marriage is working. That is to say, that it isn't working. This project is just the most recent in a long line of tactics, strategies, ideas, and theories to make my marriage something other than the horrible festering sore that it has become. I've been fighting since before I was married to make this relationship work, stupidly got married, and stupidly thought that something would change. I look back on the man I got engaged to and don't see the same man at all.

Why did I marry this one? It was that first guy that I wanted.

My husband, S, was laid off at the very beginning of the recession and hasn't been able to find a job since. He's become depressed and although he puts on a brave face, the lethargy - more like ennui - effects every part of his life. Despite my attempts, positive talk, positive reinforcement, consensus building, talking things out, and offering help have not improved things. Cajoling, nagging, yelling, crying, and guilting haven't worked either. Requests to go to counseling are met with hostility. Nothing works.

I'm desperately hoping that this idea will work. Before the depression set in he was a very social person; I'm hoping to get him into some social situations (that don't involve alcohol) to bring him back to life. If nothing else, maybe shaking up our nightly routine of YouTube video watching will stir something in him.

But I swear, even if it doesn't, no matter how much I want to hide from the world that I've come to despise him and that my bitterness is making me as different from the real me as the depression is making him different from the real him, I will tell the truth.